We've sourced the internet for the most poignant quotes from some of the most iconic minds. Comics who range from George Carlin to Bo Burnham. Anybody can tell a joke, let's be real. But these comedians always dug deeper.
Although some have since moved on, their words of wisdom remain. We've collected the best quotes from these comedy icons, and truly hope you enjoy.
1
Stewart Lee: If God exists, why did he invent atheist comedians? -Black_Crow_Dog
2
Kathleen Madigan: At least my religion was made up before T.V. -Lurker100015
3
Anthony Jeselnik: People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a mean but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect. -dadshipseries
4
George Carlin: They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. -Thick_Entertainer_68
5
Ricky Gervais: When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid. -Mello1182
6
Bill Hicks: Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. -FreedomDeliverUs
7
Doug Stanhope: Nationalism does nothing but teach you to hate people you never met, and to take pride in accomplishments you had no part in. -NotADogIzswear2020
8
Mitch Hedberg: So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that’s funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t funny. -Icy-Farm-9362
9
Sam Kinison: If you're gonna miss heaven why do it by two inches? -BeerBrat
10
Bo Burnham: Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own. -beatmate6000
11
James Acaster: What if every relationship you’re in is just someone slowly figuring out they don’t like you as much as they’d hoped they would? -Cleanitupjohny
12
Robin Williams: You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -AllModsEatShit
13
Norm MacDonald: It's one thing to make people laugh, it's another thing to make people smile. -MuddyBootsWilliams
14
Jim Carrey: When you create yourself, you're going to have to either let this creation go and take a chance on being loved or hated for who you really are. Or you're gonna have to kill who you really are and fall into your grave grasping onto a character that you never were. -fw3d
15
Stephen Colbert: If less is more, how much more could we less. -thsisBen2
